The Girl Who Knew Too Much
Just me, a glass of wine and my neurotic ideas marked by compulsive thinkingSaturday, March 01, 2003
Isn't ironic that when you finally get the sleep you have been denying yourself you are more tired than you were before? I love this feeling. I love Saturdays..I love Boston...I love sandwiches and wine from the Other Side cafe, I even love sitting in a sunny cafe and doing my homework. Jesus, I even made up with my roommate!
I am on my way to getting drunk so i can begin to write my study abroad essay. I need it to be stellar. I want to "wow" people. I might just watch Unfaithful though.
Is it wrong to think about how wonderful I am? I mean, does it mean I'm not strong if i think i am? Maybe, but i still like thinking it. Something about 40 degree weather makes me feel really warm and good.
Talk to you tomorrow when it's 20 again.
Friday, February 28, 2003
I keep biting my lip it's really cold outside and i'm fucking tired. I am also at work.
Tonight i am going to stop by Basics Furniture and try to pay my parking. Then it is off to get my car, get my ass to stahhh mahhket to buy a new T pass and some toilet paper, Blockbuster for a soothing i'm-really-hungover-and-ditching-don's-birthday-party-that-i-RSVPed-to-3-months-ago-because-i'm-an-anti-social-selfish-person (he didn't come out for my birthday, so he can't be so terribly entitled) and then I'm stopping at TJ Maxx to browse their pillow selection. yes i am on a pillow kick. I'm feeling pink a lot lately too. Ice blue is nice as well.
thirty more minutes before i can slip out of work thirty minutes early. Maybe i am that lazy student intern I so often pride myself in denying. I hope the T isn't too crowded. Did i mention it is flurrying out? no more snow, please God. Just bring me the beach and maybe i will stop feeling so old.
Ah, age. I see wrinkles on my face and i don't like it. I'm getting old. I feel like i look thirty. It scares me how older men cling to me as if i am their age. please don't let me look ugly before i can really enjoy being pretty. the last thing i need is to worry about something like aging...it happens, it actually makes many more beautiful...but that doesn't mean i want it to happen to me.
I have to pee for the fortieth time today. on tv they have an ad for people who pee too much. what do you think? Should i apply? Once again, one more defect about myself i don't need to think about...
Now if i were my roommate talking, he would tell me i need to go home tonight and fix the cable on my computer so it connects via dsl. i don't know why this pisses me off so much--maybe cuz its a guy telling ME what to do--but i am very reluctant to do it simply because i know he wants me to so URGENTLY. Ok, scratch those comments about seeming old, i am so still 15.
down to twenty minutes. after a pee and a long i'm-bundling-up-and-saying-goodbye session i can slip unnoticed to the T. maybe even beat rush hour...though more likely wait the entire half an hour for the ever-late, ever-crowded B line. One of the many perks of living in a college city.
People who snore scare me. It needs to get warm. Strange boys work at the library. There's a frozen rat on Glenville Street that really needs to be removed. I'm tired and I want to go swimming. So long.
So i thought all i wanted was a little ass--i even thought i would settle for a club hook up. EHHHH WRONG! My god i was exuding sexuality last night. I haven't felt so desired ever i don't think and rather than revel in this i was stuck with the problem of fending these over zealous cocky advances. What kind of society do we live in where if a guy approaches you (you, the female) you are automatically expected to speak with them. I mean what do you say to some loser guy when he says "stick around I want to talk to you" and youre about to leave? So now im a bitch? how does this not make sense? Hmmm...
Other major developments ala Ann: Got in a shouting match with my roommate. More cock problems. They are everywhere! however, i think it's a good thing because I certainly had some issues building up that i needed to voice...and apparently he did as well! Can you believe that he actually said he wouldn't mind if the toilets were never cleaned? ew..
There's a dead rat on Glenville Rd right after Greylock street. Please, beware...it is truly one of the most retched things i have ever seen. I thought it was bad yesterday while i was running and saw its stuffed body, unharmed but frozen in a gruesome position, in the middle of the road--it's red beady eyes still open. Yes, but this morning i really almost lost my lunch to find it was still there and still didn't look like regular road kill. All this drove home the fact that street maintenance does not really exist over here in allston.
Political bantor for the day: I find the arrogance of our generation to be disgusting with respects to the impending war with Iraq. Why do these idiots assume that they know more than the President? Who the fuck are they--where do they get their information? Fucking CNN...i.e. more propaganda. Of course no one WANTS to go to war, but you can't honestly say that we SHOULDN'T. A School in Maine had to write a memo to their teachers because students with parents in the navy were coming home upset due to their teachers anti war preaching. Appalling. Teachers in elementary school should not be inflicting their anti-Bush, anti-War, self indulgent ideas on their young students, without any regard to who those student's parents are and what their family values are. There's one thing that is undoubtedly sacred in this world and that is family. I think people are beginning to forget this as they revel in their own selfishness.
Sunday, February 23, 2003
studying is hell when you're an anal person like me.
