The Girl Who Knew Too Much
Just me, a glass of wine and my neurotic ideas marked by compulsive thinkingSaturday, May 24, 2003
Good morning I am ready to write now and catch the world up on my state of mind. Ok, well I am back in Boston and hate where I live. I have given up cleaning and have a meeting with a realestate dude in an hour and hope I find a dream apartment for under 800 and i can move tomorrow. One problem: Copenhagen. I have so much to do in these forms that are due in copenhagen by June 1st. Yuck yuck yuck. I am lonely and find myself wandering streets to avoid going home. I have finally began to regain my appetite, which is good because I am looking sickly. I have become obsessed with a crime novel called Ticket Out. I think i have a crush on the cop in the story and I feel it is my best friend. I wish other people didn't have lives and could be free to curb my lonliness so i can them complain about no time to myself. I think i am only happy about situations in retrospect and am losing the ability to enjoy a moment. I experience nostalgia much better than resigning myself to truly happy moments. I need to look over the copenhagen stuff again before my real estate appt--i promised myself i would...but i don't want to. I want to know how the mystery is unraveling, i want to know who killed greta and i wonder if ann whitehead and detective lockwood will ever get it on. enough flirting. your life is extremely lonely when you have romantic dreams about characters in the book you are reading.
i am so desperate for company. Lonliness has landed.
Friday, May 23, 2003
I hate feeling like ive been jipped. like i just walked to get coffee--can they please just fill the coffee to the top of the cup? I mean is that too much to ask? You pay fucking 2 bucks for coffee it ought to be filled the the top. LIKE HELLO. Grr, grr, grr. what a great way to start what is destined to be a winner of a day. i came home to mold and mess mess and mold and an embittered roommate. he can fucking suck it. i NEED to find a new place to live. fucking priority number one!
