The Girl Who Knew Too Much
Just me, a glass of wine and my neurotic ideas marked by compulsive thinkingThursday, February 12, 2004
I had a nightmare last night that Jon, from my old core group, admitted to me that he found my blog and gave the address to marco. i was mortified. random, strange. i'm not really sure what it means. Valentines day is just around the corner and im feeling a little wistful for someone. I just feel like theres no one who really "gets" me right now. Maybe that's because im still struggling to "get" myself. In a lot of ways, ultimate happiness really comes from just loving yourself. I guess its moreover that no one is trying to "get" me right now. Maybe im just not inspiring. I have a question. How do you meet guys? I mean really, what the fuck? its like real guys dont exist.
Ahhh..i make no sense in the mornings...
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
I don't know where i stand right now. I had kind of a shit weekend, and I needed more of a recoop weekend. I fucked up big time on my computer science program--I also crashed my car. I'm also lonely. Very. I miss being in a relationship. I think there are two kinds of people--those who always have some sort of security net love and those who don't. I was the first kind for very long and have switched over...i think this is extremely rare. It's not that you can't be independent with your security net, but its always there. Everyone i know fits into one of these stereotypes but im like an anomolie. Im the weirdo whose stuck in limbo. I miss sharing the little things with someone. I miss being really loved. God fuck valentines day.
